My Life Right Now

I don’t know if anyone still reads this blog, but I wanted those very few that do, that I came home two weeks ago. When I got back to San Antonio, I knew the world had changed, and not for the better. My house was sold, I came back to the airport and was greeted by no one, but as the saying goes “You made your bed, you can lay in it.”

I got a room in the Visiting Officers Quarters and slept from Friday 10 June to 13 June, the next two weeks were spent what the Air Force calls “re-constitution” . It’s been rough to be honest with you all, while I was in theater I ate, slept and shit the enemy and suddenly being back in the states it’s hard to let go of that. The GAOTU blessed me as I conducted ~70 combat missions in Afghanistan, but everyone of them have taken a toll on my soul. Masonry was always on my mind, it was stalking me every turn while I was there. The greatest impact that was before any serious or dangerous mission I would clean my M4 and my M9 as a good Airman would do. I would clean my weapon while watching some testosterone filled TV show, after I was finished and I put the rifle and pistol back together I would do a prayer that we are taught during the third degree, in Texas the prayer goes as follows:

"Thou, O God, knowest our down-sitting and our up-rising, understandest our thoughts afar off. Shield and defend us from the evil intentions of our enemies, and support us under the trial and afflictions we are destined to endure while traveling through this vail of tears. Man that is born of a woman is a few days and full of trouble. He cometh forth as a flower and is cut down; he fleth also as a shadow and conintueth not. Seeing his days are determined, the number of his months are with Thee; Thou hast appointed his bounds that he cannot pass; turn from him that he may rest, till he accomplish his last day.

For there is hope of a tree that if it be cut down, that it will sprout again, and that the tender branch thereof will not cease. But man dieth and wasteth away; yea man giveth up the ghost and where is he. As the waters fall from the sea, and the flood decayeth and drieth up, so man lieth down, and riseth not up till the heavens shall be no more. Yet Lord, have compassion on the children of Thy creation; administer them comfort in time of trouble, and save them with an everlasting salvation. Amen"

Before I would go out I would write my birthday down through the current day and would say that today is the day I am going to die. It cleared my head, instead of caring pictures of loved ones or half-in/half-out I just said “Well, today I will die”.

Like I wrote before Freemasonry followed me everywhere I went while I was in Afghanistan, the Canadian’s set up not only an impressive military lodge in Kandahar but a York Rite, when I was traveling through KAF I would see the flyers and smile, it was good. I also met many men who were deployed and were brothers, one of them Chief Munro who is a Navy Chief and a Navy Seal, one of the few in the entire Department of Defense.

Freemasonry was always more to me than a position in the line-up or memorization of lines; it has been a standing institute in the betterment of man.

I crave of Freemasonry in my life; I just don’t know where I can find it. On a positive note, I received a note from a member that a The Masonic Society where a member paid for my membership in 2011 because of my service, and for that I thank him, deeply. Notes like that mean the world to me. Keeping up with dues while deployed is a pain in the ass, and this was one less thing to worry about.

Things are okay now for me personally; I have waves of guilt and sadness, like I am grieving. I sometimes have crying fits, this past Friday I was hit with such sadness that it made me sick, and I threw up. Same thing happen yesterday morning as well, but so goes the uncomfortable readjustment of returning from the forgotten war.

I ask and plead with anyone that is reading this, if you have lodge members that are deployed, please try and take care of them. Contact while deployed is priceless, and reaching out to a member could turn their shitty day into a great one, please remember that.

My journey in Freemasonry continues, and so will this blog, but it might be a bit rocky from here on out.

S&F,

-Bro Vick

Less Than 60 Days

Ahhh my poor neglected Masonic blog, I apology for the near year long absence. The operations tempo is horrible, lack of interaction from my brothers at home, 2010/2011 hasn't been a great Masonic experience.

With that being said I have less than 60 days left in Afghanistan before I make the long trip back to the great state of Texas. As many of you know I was by-name-requested by then GEN McChrystal to return to theater and later retained by GEN Petraeus (who I just briefed last week).

Stan McChrystal recently was at a leadership seminar in which he discusses themes of leading men who are far younger than himself, and how he had to listen to them first, then lead them. I think that the majority of the Masonic leadership reading this blog and leading men in lodge many generations far removed would agree. If you have 15 minutes take a watch, a great video:

http://smallwarsjournal.com/blog/2011/04/stanley-mcchrystal-listen-lear/

Grand Lodge of Texas, Prince Hall, and Afghanistan

I know I have been neglectful of this blog, and there are a lot of things that I have wanted to write about, and receive feedback on. I am hoping that I can start that again with this post. The three topics above may not seem all interrelated, but for me they are, and I hope to explain myself with this post.

In early April of this year I received an e-mail from the Joint Chief of Staff Personnel directorate:

Gen McCrystal, AFGHAN CC, has submitted a by name request for Capt Vickery.

From there everything went downhill and fast, my wife was fit to be tied, my civilian career which was just getting back to normal was in shambles, and my abscene from the Craft was going to be extended. For the first time in my life I understood what it meant when they say “Service before self”. For a long time, especially in the Air Force it is almost seen as a tagline, or something you have to say, but now I know. I have a skill set that has become valuable for the commanders in Afghanistan, and because of that I was called back to serve for a minimum of a year, so here I sit on a break, writing this post in Kabul, Afghanistan.

In regards to the Craft (which is what this blog is about), I don’t have to be deprived of the work, but I am because of the Grand Lodge of Texas and their current recognition of Most Worshipful Prince Hall Grand Lodge of Texas. For the longest time I was going to refrain from posting about the GLoTX and the Prince Hall issue, because honestly I didn’t want the headache. I know that most brothers who are reading this feel that the entire issue/blame is to be placed at the feet of the Grand Lodge of Texas that it is all on them to make everything right, not so fast. While the GLoTX did recognize the Grand Lodge of Prince Hall Texas, they put on the restriction that no Masonic communication is to happen between the two organizations in any manner. This was agreed to by our Prince Hall brothers, and so while GLoTX recognize their right to exist, neither party agreed on much else.

Now the reasons for this particular arrangement is that our Prince Hall brothers didn’t want communication, only recognition to be able to apply to the UGLE to be formally recognize, and while that can seem like the old excuses of segregation “they like it that way”, I don’t feel that blind racism is the culprit as others may have you think. You go into most lodges in south east Texas you will see Past Masters with names like Ramirez, Hernandez, and Garcia. We need to call the Masonic communication issue what it is for parties, xenophobia, period. It isn’t unreasonable that members of the GLoTX and the MWGLPHTX don’t want to delude their Masonic traditions with one another, hell I see this with lodges across town from one another, being highly critical in how the other performs the work, etc.

So what is my point? All this posturing, crusading and shrill arguments are fine for you back in the states, but the sad state of affairs is that while Prince Hall lodges operate in Afghanistan on military installations; myself and others are unfortunately precluded from taking part. I am regulated to read and pontificate on this blog about the work, instead of beholding the fellowship and enlightment it can bring a man in some of the most horrible places imaginable.

For some reason, I have a feeling that the Masonic year of 2010/2011 will be a very dark one for me.

-Bro Vick

The Rough Road to Reintegration in Freemasonry

When you get back from a deployment from a combat zone, you are constantly told the concerns about reintegration. Most notably they worry about how you are going to interact with your family, your friends and your co-workers. That reintegration was for the most part smooth for me, I returned to work in December, started to go to drill in January, and life was starting to move at a normal pace. My patience with people has gotten back to its normal levels, so overall it’s been pretty smooth, except for my reintegration back into Lodge.

Rejoining the Masonic brotherhood has been the hardest part in adjusting back to civilian life.

While I was deployed I often thought long and hard about Freemasonry and would read the monitor, and reflect the most on the first three degrees, the Knights of Malta and of course the Order of the Temple. When I returned there was nothing more that I wanted than to sit and have those familiar staples of dinner w/ the lodge, then retiring to the lodge room for some work. I alluded to it earlier, about the when I returned to lodge a week after returning to the states. I guess after much reflection I realized the contributing factors (and ongoing factors) in trying to find out what has changed, and why I just can’t feel comfortable at my mother lodge. First my lodge has had an influx of new brothers since about August, this seems to be happening due to increase in community activity and involvement with the local Army post. These men didn’t know me, I didn’t know them and so there seem to be an almost stand-offnish attitude between the both of us, this of course normally (and it has) breaks down if someone sees you often enough

The second factor is that first meeting when I returned the WM did not extend to me any recognition of my safe return from my deployment. While this sounds self-important but everywhere else; work, home, my guard unit did this, and they were my co-workers/friends not my brothers. I was later told that this didn’t happen do to the attention that was being given to an upcoming event. After my first meeting at the lodge I didn’t go back until January.

Returning again things really didn’t change, I was then involved in deep reflection, did I move on from Freemasonry or did it move on from me? I decided to return to the one thing that has always brought me solace within the Fraternity, the Work. My mentor invited me to start the work again, and I was starting to realize that re-learning (or dusting out the cobwebs) seems to be the initial step in reinvigorating my path in Freemasonry.

Will this work? I don’t know for sure, today we have three EA degrees (like I said, we have had a huge influx of members), I have been offered the part of Senior Warden, and with some practice this week I am ready (as I will ever be) to start being more active again.

I am as always open to your suggestions and will try to do a better job of updating my progress.

S&F,

-Bro Vick

Jay-Z The Freemason – Just Let It Go

Here we go again, every time that Jay-Z releases a new album, the internet crazies from all over claim that he is deep in the occult and of course is a Freemason. This started back in 2000 when he used his hand jester that professional wrestler Dimond Dallas Page trademarked called “The Self-High Five” way back in 1996. Page sued Jay-Z for the use of the sign. Internet crazies, conspiracy nuts everywhere were claiming that the sign was Masonic in nature and that Jay-Z was actually a member of the Illuminati. Though I can’t find the same allegations for Diamond Dallas Page, which is interesting as he is the first to use it, or so he claims.

Well it seems that every time Jay-Z releases an album and the videos for that album he is accused of promoting occultism and Freemasonry. This happened when he officially released the video for his song “On To the Next One”. Critics claim that it is full of Masonic references, but I see one kind of, but not really. They also claim it for the video for his hit “Run this Town”, in the trailer when Jay-Z is explaining the video he is wearing a shirt that reads “Do What Thou Wilt” the mantra of the Ordo Templi Orientis and was created by Aleister Crowley the self proclaimed wickedest man on the planet. This of course sent most of the Anti-Freemasons over the edge as absolute proof that he is a Freemason and OTO.

So is Jay-Z a Freemason? Most likely not, though anything is possible, some of his critics and fans are claiming he is doing all of this to provoke the crazies, that seems like a possibility. Only Jay-Z knows if he is a Freemason, or a self worshipper form the OTO or whatever. Bottom line, controversy sales, and Jay-Z is milking it for all it’s worth. Here is the video for “On To the Next One” which I am sure you will here at your next secret lodge meeting:

New Year – Time to Start Blogging Again

Time to wipe off the dust of the blog From Darkness to Light, and start G*A*S*P blogging again, so to begin things I will give a quick update.

I returned from Afghanistan on 3rd of November, I wasn’t expecting to leave the country for another week when I received a phone call from PERSCO telling me I needed to be out in the next 72 hours. When I got into Baltimore and smelled the fresh air and the clean airport, I realized how much I missed the states.

After a week of trying to recoup, get demobilized and get my wits about me I decided to return to my mother lodge for their stated meeting. I have to be honest that both the fellowship and the meeting were a little uncomfortable. Even though a lot of the brothers come from military backgrounds, we just didn’t click like I did before I deployed. This “reintegration” time is always difficult. I learned that this was the case at my work, and even my reserve unit. Still, I thought somewhere that Freemasonry was going to be different, but human nature, is just that, human nature.

After attending a couple of more meetings, and talking over e-mail things are starting to feel like where I left them, it just takes time to reconnect. The noticeable difference is that since the lodge roof was repaired and renovated the lodge was starting to practice better Freemasonry. We have about 6 candidates going through the degrees, we do community events, it’s amazing that just rolling up your sleeves and fixing up your lodge room can put some wind in your sails.

This past December I had a shock as I was elected to Junior Warden of my Allied Masonic Degrees Council. Considering I am not in a chair in either of my Blue Lodges or any other apendent body, along with the fact that I am not a Past Anything, I accepted this position with great honor and I am looking forward to serving in that capacity.

Hopefully this will be the start of a great Masonic year as 2010 promises to bring renewed faith in a lot of my ventures. I hope I am faithful to this blog and continue to update it regularly on my Masonic journey.

-Bro Vick

An Overdue Update from Afghanistan

Brothers,

I am nearing 75% complete of my tour in Afghanistan, and it has been a very exciting and scary ride. Recently I briefed AMB Holbrooke who is the special Ambasador to Afghanistan and Pakistan who works for the Department of State but somehow reports to Obama (the relationship baffles me). AMB Holbrooke has a reputation of chewing people up and spiting them out, I thankfully survived with a thank you at the end, I took my thank you and ran.

The other major event was the IED strike at the front gate of ISAF HQ, which knocked me on my ass. I am very thankful that the KIA/WIA was as low as they were, for all the complaining we do about the concrete barriers, they seriously saved lives that day. The next day a convoy was struck in town, and a Army Master Sergeant lost his life, he was in the IRR and when was asked to come back to active duty, he volunteered for Afghanistan. He would have turned 60 this week, so please think of him and his family in your prayers.

Elections also dominated everyone’s focus for the last three weeks. Elections here are a messy business trying to get equal representation in a country that is geographically split is a major chore in itself. This is of course ignoring the fact that Taliban were threatening to cut off fingers, threaten polling stations, and spreading disenfranchment among the ethnic Pashtun lines. Now we all sit and wait with baited breath for what will happen next, and hopefully this fragile republic will hold together. The people here voted, but were skeptical if their votes counted for anything as the majority believe that the US has already selected its winner. This is not unlike our own country where people believe that the winner is pre-determined on who programs our voting machines.

I want to thank everyone for the nice notes and well wishes, I am particularly thankful for my mother lodge Army #1105 for sending the generous gift of a box of Arturo Fuentes cigars, their gift is truly appreciated.

I hope all is well with you, please keep in touch.

S&F,
Bro Vick

Life Goes On Without You

During a deployment, there comes a point in a member’s mind that life is moving on without you back home. While that seems like a “duh” statement, things will happen that will hit home for you. Birthday’s, your child’s first words, or steps.

While these milestones can’t compare, Freemasonry has been moving on as well. Both of the lodges I belong to had their elections, and the officers were elected. I feel a level of disappointment/envy knowing that I can’t be there to be a part of the excitement that comes with a new officer year. I have missed a whole slew of new brothers at my mother lodge. Or the installation of a man whose father, grandfather and great-grandfather start his journey to the east as Junior Deacon, I will miss all these things back home, and it does bring a touch of sadness.

Still, I keep Freemasonry in my heart, and while I miss the fellowship and the ritual, it is still a part of my life, and its teachings help guide me every day. For that, I am thankful for the instructions of the Craft and the significant impact it has had and will continue to have on my life.

-Bro Vick

A Letter to my Brothers from Afghanistan

Dear Brothers,

As I write this e-mail it marks the seventh week I have been in Afghanistan, and I wanted to write a message to talk about my adventures thus far, I also want to thank my mother lodge Army #1105 for the nice letter on my second year as a Master Mason. While the majority of my work and operations are classified, there are two events that took place in which aren’t classified. First were the Civilian Casualties in Farah Province, Afghanistan. I was part of the investigation team that went out to determine what happened, it was a difficult investigation because Bala Boluk is for the most part owned by the Taliban, and was somewhat dangerous. While I was there I quietly celebrated my 33rd birthday with a bowl of rice and a BECK’s N/A that someone found (I was hesitant to drink it, but figured it would be insulting not to). Was stuck there for longer than I wanted due to no flying/no convoy’s in and out of Farah. I returned back to Kabul during lots of briefings, conferences, etc. I am getting ready to go out again, I have had two trips that misfired, but am confident that enough people are back from leave that I can start certain operations again.

An additional duty I have is to interact with the students of Kabul University, once a week on Saturday’s I meet with them to discuss their concerns regarding the International Security Assistance Force. I honestly dreaded the meetings at first, as I really didn’t come here to be a punching bag of sorts, but soon learned to realize the benefit of interacting with these students. While a lot of times we go out to ascertain how the population feels about certain subjects (IED, Propaganda, ETC) this was the time for the students to bring their concerns to us, we take notes and send them forward to the 30+ Generals in the Kabul area. The students here are very passionate about their country; they have serious issues to deal with versus the college student in America. Here they get a degree, and they can’t find work within the country, and all they want to do is help rebuild Afghanistan, they usually end up going to Iran or Pakistan getting a job and sending money home, while they are the upper middle class of the country, they still lose to tribal dynamics and racial tensions. I feel bad for some of them that are idealist that want to change Afghanistan, others want to get their education and get the hell out of dodge. This country is broken in so many ways, that I can’t begin to describe the effort it has taken for them to even get this far, yet we (coalition forces) and Americans can’t believe they don’t have a thriving society overnight.

When I talk to the college students, I see sparks of Freemasonry in them, I hear them discuss education, enlightment and equality among men, and it makes me smile. The Pashtun’s (the dominate tribe in Afghanistan) believe that they escended from the tribes of Israel, they don’t have the emphasis on Islam that we are led to believe. They believe they are a Pashtun first, an Afghan second and a Muslim third. The Taliban forced this bizarre cross of Pashtun ethics with radical Islamic law in attempts to appeal to the masses, but it really didn’t stick. Still, I can see lodges one day being apart of Afghanistan, Pashtumwali consists of ualifications such as self authority, equality, assembly, respect for all people, honor, and protection. I believe that Freemasonry would be something that at some point would be very popular among the men of Afghanistan. There are other aspects, which get magnified, including tribal rivalries,pride and call for action which dominates the west impression of the people of Afghanistan.

Well, I have rambled enough, and I need to go back to work. I know that elections are coming up, and I am sorry that I won't be able to be apart of a line up this next Masonic year, but I wish the incoming Worshipful Masters and their officers good fortune and prosperity.

Hope all is well with you.

S&F,
-Bro Vick

Thank the G.A.O.T.U for Sunday Mornings

I meant to write this two weeks ago, but the craziness of leaving my civilian job, my guard job and personal matters just overcame me in a series of disaster after disaster. The last week of February is a blur of frustration of delays and last minute details. I was able to attend my Mother Lodge Army Lodge #1105 for the last stated meeting of the month the 24th of Feb, we had a lot of business to take care of and the District Deputy Grand Master came out for a visit, it was a full evening.

A quick history of Army Lodge, there was three lodges in the city of San Antonio at the turn of the century, they were Alamo #44, Anchor Lodge, Texas #8. Fort Sam Houston at the time was considered to be on the far side of town and was 45 minute commute one way to attend these lodges. A group of Army enlisted and officers along with some contractors was granted a charter as Army Lodge #1105 and meet in the meeting room above the old gymnasium. There they conferred degrees (mainly on military members) and for the first 10 years only military sat in the east. The lodge has been conferring degrees on military Masons and members of the community ever since. It at one time has members spread across the world serving this country 800 strong, members in the Navy, Army and Air Force. In 1929 they raised enough money to build their own building, which is situated right outside the now closed east gate of Fort Sam Houston.

If you have been reading this blog for a while you know that my Mother Lodge has been in turmoil since I was initiated over the repair of the roof. This turmoil has lasted three Worshipful Masters and caused a strain on the lodge, which has always been the elephant in the room. It was finally settled last month and the current sitting Worshipful Master started a series of initiatives to start repairing/renovating the lodge. The meeting on the 24th was to vote on all of these greatly needed repairs, to which I am happy to report where all approved and the renovations are starting this week! My personal hope is that Army Lodge #1105 will continue its tradition of granting more light to the Soldiers, Airmen, Sailors and Marines that pass through the gates of Fort Sam Houston and the greater San Antonio area. I hope that the new building repairs will invigorate not only our base membership, but the community as a whole, and might actually inspire the hope that was promised this past year by many a politicians.

After the meeting I meet the DDGM, who was former military (not unusual in Texas), the man is the nicest DDGM we have had during my short time in Freemasonry, and gave me a pin with the emblem of the current Grand Master, David Counts. He told me to put it somewhere to remind myself that I have brothers in Texas praying for me. I took the pin, just concerned that I wouldn’t lose it.

My second day here the Army issued me more gear than I had been issued in my 7 years in the Air Force, one the of the pieces of gear is an Assualt pack, which I have become dependent on for pretty much everything, I put the pin on the inside front pocket, as a reminder that Freemasonry lives inside of me, and that I have the support of brothers everywhere as I embark on this journey, serving this country.

The training itself can be frustrating, the Army “hurry up and wait” philosophy is wearing thin; thankfully we have nothing scheduled this morning (which is why I am able to finally update this blog). In 13 days I will have completed my weapons training (50 Cal, 240B, 249, MK19), IED detection, convoy operations and of course force protection. This training is paid for by the Army, to ensure my survivability while fulfilling their mission requirements.

I have been reading Masonic papers as a way to disengage my mind from the training, one of the papers “Masonry and World Peace” by Joseph Fort Newton he writes:

”What has Masonry to say, what can it do, in this hour of world crisis when the race is struggling through blood and fire toward something new, shaking off the shams, and coming face to face with the eternal necessities?”

I could post the rest, but I think the Master Masons reading this would have a good idea what he wrote.

Thank you for your prayers and well wishes, they are appreciated.

=Bro Vick